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Disenhanced Episode 7: The Moth

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In this week's episode, we answer that question which has kept many a Lost fan up at nights - "What is the deal with Charlie?" Past episodes have revealed Charlie to be many things. He is from Britain. He is a bass player in the band Drive Shaft. He is thoroughly annoying. And, he is a junkie strung out most of the time on heroin, which is a bad thing to be on an isolated island in the middle of the South Pacific, as he is running out of his stash...and despite his best efforts towards retrofitting the island's produce, there is nothing, repeat, nothing he can do to give mangos any narcotic properties. So, in this week's episode, we join Charlie as he faces a cold, smackless Universe in "The Moth".

Incidentally, the reason for the symbolism of a "moth" here is that moths are attracted to dangerous...um...tweed jackets that you leave in the closet for years at a time. Wait a moment, then what do the tweed jackets symbolize? I must have that wrong.

Act 1

[Charlie looking very sweaty trying to play guitar.]

CAPTION: Don't laugh, it's a very challenging solo. That guy from Fiona Apple's backup band tried it and broke out into asthmatic spasms.

LOCKE: Charlie. Charlie. How about you and I go for walk?

CHARLIE: No. No thanks, Locke. I think I'm going to stay in today.

LOCKE: Come on. Fresh air will do you good.

CAPTION: "I don't know, Locke, what is the street value of this 'fresh air' of which you speak?"

[Charlie looks terrible. They stare at each other a moment.]

[Cut to Jack holding Kate's mug shots.]

KATE: [entering] I take better pictures than that. Smaller, too, if you want something for your wallet.

CAPTION: Olan Mills does a great "set of 15" mug shot package, with a backdrop of Sing Sing, and they'll even throw in prop handcuffs for an extra $1.95.

JACK: I just came by for a few things and this was. . . this was with my stuff. [He hands it to her].

KATE: So you're not staying?

JACK: Call me a broken record, but caves are a natural shelter. And a hell of a lot safer than living here on the beach.

CAPTION: All the vicious, spike-fanged and razor-clawed beasts that live in those caves agree with Jack that caves are a natural shelter.

KATE: You're mad at me.

JACK: No. Kate, I'm -- I just don't understand why you won't come with me. Us.

CAPTION: "I even have a new dress for you to wear. Complete with Freudian slip."

JACK: It's maybe a mile up there, if that.

CAPTION: Could Kate actually not be volunteering to go on some mission in this episode? Whoa. Next thing you know the Red Sox will win the World Series or something. Who will know how to make sense of reality from this point onwards?

KATE: We crashed 8 days ago, Jack. I'm not setting up house here.

JACK: I want off this island too, but we both know that's not going to happen any time soon.

KATE: Sayid has a plan.

JACK: Yeah, to find the source of the distress code, I know.

KATE: The signal's coming from somewhere on the Island. If we can find it. . .

JACK: The signal has been running on a loop for 16 years, Kate. And the woman that left it, she wasn't rescued.

CAPTION: How does Jack know this, exactly? At this point, no one has met Danielle Rousseau, the French woman who recorded the message. Perhaps someone did come rescue her, and in her zeal to G.T.H.O.T.I (Get The Hell Off This Island) she forgot to turn off that lovely, chipper message of hers. Really, Jack's usually such a stickler for scientific confirmation of things, maybe he should actually check into whether the person who recorded the message is on the Island somewhere before leaping to conclusions like this. It's like he's a man of faith, not a man of science, or something.

JACK: What makes you think it's going to be any different for us?

KATE: I believe it.

JACK: Well, I wish I shared your faith.

CAPTION: "But I don't...instead I have my own kind of faith, in drawing unsupported conclusions, apparently."

SAWYER: [entering] Wouldn't mind sharing a few things with her myself.

CAPTION: Where are those guys from around the water cooler when you need them for swell comments like this. You know, Sawyer says "I wouldn't mind sharing a few things with her myself", then some other guy says "Oh!", then another says "Badda bing!", then another says "That's what I'm talkin' about!"

KATE: What do you want, Sawyer?

SAWYER: Heard the doctor was vacating the premises. Thought I'd best lay claims to my new digs before somebody else did [he drops his suitcases]. I could fix this place up real good. Might even find somebody to share it with me [looking at Kate].

CAPTION: Winning this year's Subtle As A Brick Award, James "Sawyer" Ford.

JACK: [to Kate] I'll talk to you later.

[Kate watches Jack leave with a sad look on her face. Sawyer, smiling, waves.]

[We see Charlie walking in the jungle. We hear animal grunting sounds.]

CHARLIE: Locke, is that you?

CHARLIE: [running, slow motion, VO] Bless me father, for I have sinned.

CAPTION: Hmm...the actor who plays Charlie is named Dominic Monaghan...a good Irish last name there...and Charlie is, apparently, a Catholic...no wonder we're having so much trouble boosting the show's ratings in about half of Belfast...

CHARLIE: [in a confessional with priest] It's been a week since my last confession.

PRIEST: Go ahead my son.

CHARLIE: Last night I had physical relations with a girl I didn't even know.

CAPTION: This place is for confessing, not bragging.

PRIEST: I see. Anything else?

CHARLIE: Yeah. Uh, right after that I had relations with another girl. Then straight after that I watched while they had relations with each other.

CAPTION: "Actually, there were quite a few permutations involved here...can you clear off your schedule for the afternoon? I'm going to be here a while."

CHARLIE: You see, it's, it's my band, father, Drive Shaft. We've been playing the clubs in Manchester. And, uh, we've been getting some heat, a following, you know, and, uh, the girls. There's some real temptations that come with the territory, if you know what I mean.

PRIEST: Well, we all have our temptations, but giving in to them, that's your choice. As we live our lives it's really nothing but a series of choices, isn't it?

CHARLIE: Well, then, I've made my choice. I have to quit the band.

CAPTION: "Because, Father, it is my free will choice to go back to my earlier condition of not being noticed even a tiny bit by women."

[We see Charlie leaving the church. Someone is there drumming on the pews.]

LIAM: And the meek shall inherit the earth.

CHARLIE: Liam, what are you doing? This is a church.

CAPTION: "It's not properly percussive. There's a fish market down the street that makes a much better drum set. Much better resonance off of the herring cart."

LIAM: Relax, choir boy. I bring good tidings of great joy. We've just been signed. A recording contract. You're going to be a rock god.

CAPTION: Hmm...two brothers from Manchester in the UK who are signed to a big record contract so they can be mega-stars...and one of the brothers is named Liam...nah, can't figure out why that seems familiar.

[Shot of Charlie running from a boar. Some luggage falls, the boar is trapped in a large net trap.]

LOCKE: Nice work, Charlie. You make excellent bait.

CAPTION: Better than Shannon?

CHARLIE: [angrily] I'm glad I could oblige. Now give me my bloody drugs.

CAPTION: Really, Locke and the other islanders are missing a big opportunity here. By using Charlie's drugs as a motivational factor, they could have had him assume the role of "bait" in a more permanent capacity. Charlie could have been the mouse and the heroin could have been the bit of cheese. But they just don't plan these things out.

Act 2

CHARLIE: Did you hear what I said? I want my drugs back. I need 'em.

LOCKE: Yet you gave them to me. Hmm.

CAPTION: "It is a puzzlement." (This reminds me - Terry O'Quinn will be on tour as the King of Siam in Rodgers and Hammerstein's The King And I, coming to a dinner theatre near you in early 2010.)

CHARLIE: And I bloody well regret it. I'm sick, man. Can't you see that?

LOCKE: I think you're a lot stronger than you know, Charlie. And I'm going to prove it to you. I'll let you ask me for your drugs three times. The third time, I'm going to give them to you. Now, just so we're clear, this is one.

CAPTION: "Gotcha. Give me my drugs. That's two. Give me my drugs. That's three."

CHARLIE: Why? Why? Why are you doing this? To torture me? Just get rid of them and have done with it?

LOCKE: If I did that you wouldn't have a choice, Charlie. And having choices, making decisions based on more than instinct, is the only thing that separates you from him [indicating the boar].

CAPTION: "I have to believe everything I'm telling you about free will, Charlie. It is my destiny to believe these things. The Island requires me to believe these things."

[Locke grabs the boar's ear and goes to slash it's throat. Charlie looks away.]

[Shot of an antenna on a pole. Sayid, Boone and Kate on the beach.]

SAYID: Three antenna. Three points of a triangle. One here on the beach. Another, Kate will position in the jungle, roughly two kilometers in.

CAPTION: Just waiting for Sayid to actually say the words here...but there you have it, Kate has volunteered for another mission. SEVEN. So far, a perfect average of one mission per episode...though by not going off with Jack, she missed an opportunity to raise that average above one. Still, she's leading all Lost characters for the Mission Volunteering Average (MVA) title at this point. If she can just stay healthy throughout this season, with stats like that, she may be in the running for Most Valuable Character.

SAYID: And the third I'll take to high ground, up there. If the French transmission is coming from somewhere from within our triangulation, I'll be able to locate the source. But there are two complications.

BOONE: Of course there are.

SAYID: The power cells I grafted onto the antennas are dry. There's no telling how long they'll last. A minute -- maybe more, maybe less.

KATE: So we have to wait until we're in position before we turn them on.

BOONE: Wait. Wait a second. How are we going to be able to tell that we're actually in the right position? We have no way to communicate with each other.

[Sayid grabs bottle rockets from a pack.]

KATE: Bottle rockets?

SAYID: Thank God for fireworks smugglers.

CAPTION: Riiiiiiight. Somehow Homeland Security is going to miss a bunch of bags packed up with explosives? And somehow, on a plane where there is one passenger who was a member of Saddam Hussein's Republican Guard, they're going to not search every friggin' bag on that plane? Besides, why go all the way to Australia for fireworks? Missouri is closer, and they'll sell bottle rockets to first-graders.

SAYID: Now, when I'm in position I'll fire off my rocket. When you two see it, you fire yours. As soon as the last one has gone up we all switch on our antennas.

KATE: Okay, but you said there are two complications.

CAPTION: "Well, Boone is coming along with us. We have to count that in."

SAYID: The battery in the transceiver is dead. Without the transceiver all of this is for nothing. Something from a laptop computer would probably work, but I've not been able to find anything.

KATE: I think I might know where to look.

[Shot of Kate at Sawyer's place.]

CAPTION: "You need a new pilfered laptop computer at low, low prices? Well, come on down to Sawyer's House of Loot...he's gotta be craaaaaazy to let quality items like this go at these prices...

KATE: You're hoarding like a pack rat since the crash and you don't have a single laptop?

SAWYER: We are testy. Still upset about your little break up? You and Jacko?

CAPTION: Nah, he's been too emotionally vulnerable to enter into a new relationship ever since breaking up with Lisa Marie Presley...Kate didn't even stand a chance with him.

KATE: It must be exhausting.

SAWYER: What's that?

KATE: Living like a parasite -- always taking, never giving.

CAPTION: Yeah, that's why tapeworms are always so shagged out. The lifestyle is just brutal.

SAWYER: Well, you got me pegged, don't you?

KATE: I get it now. You don't want off this island because there's nothing for you to go back for. Nobody you miss. And no one misses you.

SAWYER: Oh, and you're feeling sorry for me.

KATE: I don't feel sorry for you. I pity you.

[Sawyer looks hurt, then smiles, then reaches into a suitcase, pulls out a laptop, and gives her the battery.]

SAWYER: All you had to do was say please.

CAPTION: If that was what "please" looks like, then we'd hate to see "pretty please with sugar on top". Sawyer would probably have been left drenched in a pool of his own tears after that...

[She reaches for it, and he pulls it away and then hands it to her again.]

[We see Charlie playing guitar. Charlie notices Charlie Hurley and Jack carrying luggage into the caves.]

HURLEY: Dude, what's in these things, cinderblocks?

JACK: I packed everything I thought might be useful here without leaving the Others shorthanded.

CAPTION: That's strange. Whoever did this transcript capitalized the "O" in "others". I wonder why they made that mistake. At least, I assume it was a mistake. It was a mistake, wasn't it?

CHARLIE: Hey, you guys need a hand? [Hurley and Jack drop what they're carrying]. I used to load the band's equipment, before we had roadies, way back in the day. Here let me.

JACK: Charlie, the zipper's. . .

[Charlie grabs a bag and everything spills out.]

CAPTION: Oh, that darn Charlie. (*wimpy music plays in the background, Charlie shrugs one of those "Gotta love me" shrugs*)

JACK: ...broken.

CHARLIE: Sorry, just trying to help.

JACK: I know, that's okay. [to Hurley)] Hey, want to help me grab the rest of those bags?

HURLEY: Oh, could I?

CAPTION: Oh, Hurley. Everyone is going to have more work to do with that darn Charlie around. (*cue the wimpy music again, Charlie does another shrug*)

[Shot of Charlie rifling through the bag looking at the Rx bottles.]

JACK: What are you doing?

CHARLIE: Oh, uh, I have a headache.

CAPTION: Going cold turkey from a powerful street drug, it gives you an "Excedrin headache".

JACK: [grabbing the bottle Charlie's holding] Diazepam. That's for anxiety.

CAPTION: "Oh, that would be bad. I'm already quite anxious."

CHARLIE: I was looking for aspirin.

JACK: Pretty strong stuff for a headache.

CHARLIE: Yeah, right.

JACK: Hey, you okay? You're looking a little. . .

CHARLIE: No, it's nothing, it's just a headache.

[Charlie starts cleaning up the spilled suitcase.]

JACK: Charlie, leave it. Go get some water. Maybe you're dehydrated. Charlie, I got it. Go take care of yourself, man. We don't need you right now.

CAPTION: Some deleted dialogue which followed here - Jack says "Maybe you should eat something. Jin caught some more fish." Then Charlie says "Not tonight, I have a haddock." (Ah, the old vaudeville material is still good.)

[Charlie goes back to his guitar looking grumpy and lonely.]


[We hear the sound of church bells.]

LIAM: Come on, Charlie boy. We can't do this without you. You are bloody Drive Shaft.

CAPTION: Compare what Liam is saying here, about Charlie's central importance to the band, with what he will say later, which is more along the lines that Charlie is just this guy who drops in unannounced at Drive Shaft gigs playing his bass even though no one has asked him to.

[We see nuns walking by.]

CHARLIE: Watch the language.

LIAM: [holding the record contract] This is our shot at the big time. What? You don't want to be famous?

CHARLIE: It's not about all that. I only care about the music.

LIAM: Yeah, your music. Your songs that got us signed. I'm just a clown with a pretty face that sings them.

CAPTION: There it is...proof positive that Emmett Kelly could have been the next John Lennon.

LIAM: And you want to take away my chance to be somebody?

CHARLIE: Liam, it's not about you. It's -- I love the band. It's not who I am. Sometimes I just get lost in it.

LIAM: Won't happen -- because I'll be there looking out for you. We'll look out for each other. That's what brothers do, right? Right?

CAPTION: Compare this with later on, when Liam will have difficulty remembering what Charlie's last name is.

[Liam starts horsing around with Charlie.]

CHARLIE: Wait, wait, wait wait wait. Just promise me one thing. If things get too crazy no matter what, if I say we're done, we walk away.

LIAM: We walk away.

CHARLIE: Liam, promise.

LIAM: We walk away. You're the rock god baby brother.

CAPTION: It's a good thing there wasn't a bucket of spit nearby, or else Charlie might have had something to which to compare the worth of Liam's promise.

[Big smiles and then they run around, playing.]

[We see Jin getting water in a bowl from the spring. Shot of handcuff still on his wrist. Sun approaches.]

SUN: 손목을 의사에게 좀 보여줘야겠어요. [Subtitle: You should have the doctor look at your wrist.]

JIN: 괜찮아. 나아지겠지. 옷이 그게 뭐야? 너무 야하잖아. 긴 거로 입어. [Subtitle: It's fine. I will heal. What are you wearing? (Sun's wearing a camisole type top). It's indecent. Cover yourself.]

SUN: [defiantly] 긴 건 너무 더워요. [Subtitle: It's hot.]

CAPTION: What does Sun think Jin's point is? If Sun's outfit wasn't hot, he wouldn't be so keen on her covering up.

[Shot of Hurley walking into the caves carrying a guitar.]

HURLEY: Hey, dude. This yours?

CHARLIE: Oh yeah. You're probably wondering because I play bass in Drive Shaft. I wrote a bunch of tunes on that -- You, All, Everybody.

CAPTION: "Please know who I am! Please know who I am!"

HURLEY: Listen, uh, man. Jack just wants you to find another place for it. He's moving supplies and says it's in the way.

CHARLIE: [walking inside the cave where Jack is] You know? A lot of people look up to me. They respect me. And you, you just treat me like I'm some bloody child. Like I'm some useless joke.

JACK: What are you talking about?

CHARLIE: Charlie's not good enough to do this, Charlie's just in the way. Put Charlie onto that.

CAPTION: "Charlie, come be bait for a wild boar."

JACK: Sit down. Let me take a look at you man.

CHARLIE: Oh, you're going to look out for me, yeah. We'll look out for each other, that's how it is? I'm not interested.

JACK: Charlie, just calm down, alright. You're not yourself.

CHARLIE: You don't know me. I'm a bloody rock god.

[Then the cave caves in.]

CAPTION: "See? I told the rocks to do that."

HURLEY: Oh, no.

[Jin and Sun look. Hurley, Jin and Sun run up. Charlie runs out of the rubble.]

HURLEY: Charlie, where's Jack? Where's Jack?

CAPTION: Let us all take a moment to reflect upon Jack's certainty that the caves are the safest place for the survivors to move. (Oddly, this seems not to have been an issue when Jack first ran for the post of Omniscient Leader of the Survivors.)

Act 3

HURLEY: Jack, Jack can you hear me?

CHARLIE: I don't know what happened. We were just talking and it -- and it came down on us -- all happened so fast.

HURLEY: Dude, we gotta get help. Charlie, go down to the beach and get help.

CHARLIE: Okay, I'm on it.

HURLEY: Make sure you tell Kate.

CAPTION: Yeah, this will raise her MVA above 1.

[Shot of Kate and Sayid walking in the jungle.]

KATE: What we're doing -- chasing some phantom distress signal -- what are the odds of this working?

SAYID: No worse than the odds of us surviving that plane crash.

KATE: People survive plane crashes all the time.

SAYID: Not like this one. The tail section broke off while we were still in the air. Our section cartwheeled through the jungle and yet we escaped with nothing but a few scrapes. How do you explain that?

CAPTION: That is kind of strange. Does anyone actually remember hitting the ground? The experience of the survivors when they actually hit the ground should be rather telling. Does anyone have a story like "I was hurtling towards the ground at 200 mph when I discovered that the ground is actually soft and spongy, kind of like Bundt cake?"

KATE: Blind, dumb luck?

SAYID: No one's that lucky. We shouldn't have survived.

KATE: Sorry Sayid, some things just happen, no rhyme, no reason.

CAPTION: Take most of ABC's fall lineup, for example.

[We see Charlie running onto the beach.]

CHARLIE: Hey, hey, we need help.

MICHAEL: What's wrong, man?

CHARLIE: It's Jack, he's trapped.

BOONE: What?

CAPTION: "It's true. He never wanted to be a doctor. His old man browbeat him into it. But never mind about that, right now he's stuck in a cave."

CHARLIE: A cave collapsed. We don't even know if he's alive. Come on, we've gotta go.

MICHAEL: Hey, uh, uh, Scott?

STEVE: I'm Steve.

SCOTT: I'm Scott.

CAPTION: In another big reveal for Season 6, we learn that, all this time, Steve has been pretending to be Scott, and Scott has been pretending to be Steve.

MICHAEL: We've got an emergency, grab a couple of guys and let's go.

CHARLIE: We've got to go now.

[Boone starts running off with them, but runs back to Shannon.]

BOONE: Shannon, you have to be ready to do something really important, okay? At 5 o'clock sharp you have to be ready to turn that antenna on over there. There's a switch at the base.

SHANNON: Why?

BOONE: Because Kate and Sayid are triangulating the French signal. But the antenna's power's really weak so you have to wait until they fire their bottle rockets. Then you fire this one. Then you turn on the antenna. Got it?

SHANNON: The switch is where now?

BOONE: Did you hear a word I said? Can you or can't you do it?

CAPTION: Ah, the spectacle of Boone getting impatient with someone because that person isn't immediately demonstrating aptitude and competence at something. You never thought you'd see something like that, did you?

SHANNON: Yeah, I can.

BOONE: Okay, [hands her the bottle rocket], okay.

CHARLIE: [running to go back to the caves] Wait. Kate. Hey, we have to tell Kate about Jack.

SAWYER: Sorry sport, you just missed her. Her and Mohammad headed into the woods about 10 minutes ago.

CAPTION: A poor choice of ethnic slurs there. We know that Sayid is not Mohammad. First of all, if he was, Muslims would be picketing in front of ABC, and would be mounting a worldwide boycott of all Disney products. Secondly, if Sayid were Mohammad, then why would he need to go to the mountain? He could wait for the mountain come to him.

CHARLIE: Which way.

SAWYER: Don't sweat it, amigo.

CAPTION: That was kind of insensitive on Sawyer's part. Anyone with eyes can see that Charlie can't stop sweating things in this episode.

SAWYER: I know which way they went.

CHARLIE: Yeah, but.

SAWYER: I'll tell her. You just keep doing whatever it is you do around here.

CAPTION: Whatever it is he does around here? Why, only being That Darn Charlie. (*crowd cheers, Charlie does another "Gotta love me" shrug*)


[We see Drive Shaft on stage. Liam takes Charlie's part singing. We see Liam being greeted back stage and Liam pouring booze. Charlie's pissed.]

CAPTION: Okay, here a joke only British people will get. Liam's pouring the booze, but it's Charlie that's pissed? Thank you, and now we'll return from this inside joke to our regularly scheduled parody.

CHARLIE: What the hell was that?

LIAM: Put on a kick ass show. You were bloody brilliant.

CHARLIE: I sing the chorus to You All Everybody.

CAPTION: Charlie's got to be wondering if that is what he wants written on his tombstone. "Charlie Pace, 1975-2004, Sang The Chorus To You All Everybody." "But oh, Spirit, are these things you show me the things that must be, or only that may be?"

LIAM: Oh yeah, sorry about that. [a photographer approaches]. Got caught up in the moment. The crowd wanted it you know.

CAPTION: Part of the problem is that Charlie was playing too far downstage. You do that, you're bound to get...er...upstaged...

CHARLIE: Yeah, I know. If I start and then you come in after me. . .

LIAM: [to security] She's cool. Let her in. (to Charlie) I won't let it happen again. I promise. (Liam gets the groupie, pulls out some drugs and Charlie sees). Chill, baby brother.

[Charlie back at beach.]

[We see people at the caves moving rocks out of the way. Michael runs up with Walt and Vincent.]

MICHAEL: Wait. Hey wait.

HURLEY: Jack's in there.

MICHAEL: Let me check it out before you start moving things around. If it's unstable. . .

CAPTION: Not to reveal too much about later seasons, but Michael arguably knows a thing or two about instability.

HURLEY: Well, how do you know. . .

MICHAEL: 8 years of construction work. Hey Walt, get back man, I don't want you near the rocks, okay, and take the dog with you.

WALT: Gotta see Mr. Locke.

CAPTION: "I'd much rather hang out with this other guy who's smarter and cooler than you than watch you drop rocks on everyone's head, Dad. Toodles."

HURLEY: Locke's out in the jungle killing stuff. Who knows where he is?

[Michael looks around at the cave.]

MICHAEL: Alright, this area here is load-bearing. We've got to dig where there's no danger of the wall buckling in on itself. Here, we dig in here so the wall doesn't collapse. Four at a time, by hand, until we can find some kind of shovel. We take shifts, and go slow. Whoever isn't digging should be clearing the rocks that we clear out and bring the water to whoever is working, okay. Let's move.

[Shot of Walt looking on, proud of/surprised by his father.]

CAPTION: "Whoa...the old man knows about the statics of load-bearing structures! When I tell the kids back home about that, I'll be the most popular guy in school."

[We see Kate and Sayid in the jungle. Sawyer enters.]

SAWYER: Hey.

KATE: What the hell are you doing here?

SAWYER: Easy. Just came to tell you something.

KATE: What makes you think I'm interested in anything you have to say?

SAWYER: [after a long pause] Just came to tell you, you were right about me that I don't help anyone but myself. Well, here I am, ready to pitch in.

KATE: You're here to help?

CAPTION: Yes, Kate has made Sawyer less selfish. For her next trick, she will turn water into wine.

[Kate and Sayid walk away.]

SAWYER: Hey, you act anymore surprised and I'm going to get offended.

[Shot of Locke skinning the boar and Charlie enters looking bedraggled.]

LOCKE: Something wrong, Charlie?

CHARLIE: Yeah, Jack. He's a -- there's been an accident at the caves. Jack's trapped in a cave-in.

LOCKE: Is anyone trying to get him out?

CHARLIE: Yeah, there's a bunch of people of there now.

LOCKE: Then why aren't you with them? You didn't come here to tell me about Jack, did you?

CHARLIE: [looking like he going to cry] I want my stash, Locke. I can't stand feeling like this.

CAPTION: Yes, Jack is fighting for his life, and here is Charlie being primarily and exclusively concerned with...getting high. He's going to be the hero of today's show, though. Go figure.

LOCKE: Come here. I'm going to show you something. [They walk to a plant with a cocoon on it]. What do you supposed is in that cocoon, Charlie?

CHARLIE: I don't know, a butterfly, I guess?

LOCKE: No, it's much more beautiful than that. That's a moth cocoon. It's ironic, butterflies get all the attention; but moths -- they spin silk, they're stronger, they're faster.

CAPTION: "Even more ironic...look at that butterfly over there. Its name is Liam. But this moth's name is Charlie. What are the odds?"

CHARLIE: That's wonderful, but. . .

LOCKE: You see this little hole? This moth's just about to emerge. It's in there right now, struggling. It's digging it's way through the thick hide of the cocoon. Now, I could help it, take my knife, gently widen the opening, and the moth would be free. But it would be too weak to survive. The struggle is nature's way of strengthening it.

CAPTION: "Now, Charlie, this is why I am going to beat the living daylights out of you. This will make you even stronger than this moth."

LOCKE: Now this is the second time you've asked me for your drugs back [he holds the heroin up]. Ask me again and it's yours.

CAPTION: "Does oo wants oo's widdle herowin? Does oo wants oo's widdle herowin?"

Act 4

[Shot of people moving rocks. Michael struggling at the opening, then something gives.]

MICHAEL: Hey, we're through, we got a hole.

HURLEY: Jack? Jack? Can you hear me, Jack? Come on dude, answer me.

[Sounds of moaning.]

HURLEY: I hear him.

BOONE: [to others behind him] He's alive.

HURLEY: Jack, bro, you okay?

JACK: I'm pinned. I can't move. I can't move.

CAPTION: "The hundreds of large rocks that fell on me are holding my somehow-unbroken bones stationary so they can't move."

HURLEY: [to Michael] What do we do? How do we get him out?

JACK: Charlie was with me.

HURLEY: He's okay. He made it out.

MICHAEL: Hey listen, Jack, we're going to get you out of there, okay?

CAPTION: "Sure, that'd be good. Not surprisingly, I am in complete accord with your plan to free me."

[Shot of Jack moaning and coughing.]

[Shot of Sayid, Kate, and Sawyer hiking. They reach the 'high ground' area.]

SAYID: We'll place the second antenna here. [to Sawyer] You want to help?

[Sawyer nods, Kate pulls the antenna out of Sayid's pack and hands it to him. Sayid hands it Sawyer.]

SAYID: Attach this antenna up that tree, as high up as you can.

SAWYER: Golly, thanks boss. [He walks toward the tree].

CAPTION: Cue Glenn Campbell soundtrack music - "I am a lineman for the Is-laaaaaaaaaand...and I work the main treeeeeeeee...."

SAYID: [in a lowered voice to Kate] Five o'clock. Watch for my flare, then it's your turn. I don't trust him.

KATE: Who does?

CAPTION: Sayid is thinking "It seems she does not understand what I mean by this. I will make my meaning plainer to her."

SAYID: I don't trust him with you.

CAPTION: Sayid is thinking "There, that's clearer."

KATE: I can handle him.

CAPTION: Sayid is thinking "What I meant was, it's more likely that he wants to handle you. If I wasn't so damn polite, I would have said that two lines back."

[Shot of Sayid leaving. Sawyer up in the tree.]

[Shot of people at the caves, Michael moving through the shot.]

MICHAEL: Okay, we can't safely make that tunnel any bigger, but since Jack can't get out, one of us is going to have to go in and un-pin him.

HURLEY: What, crawl through that?

BOONE: I think we need someone smaller.

JIN: 내 와이프가 당신들 때문에 위험에 빠지는 걸 볼 순 없어.

CAPTION: Translation - "Hey, who do we know on this island that's a little shrimpy dude? You know, someone who, if he were a movie actor, might have played a hobbit or something?"

HURLEY: Dude, we don't understand Chinese.

MICHAEL: Korean, man. They're Korean.

CHARLIE: [off camera, entering] I'll do it.

HURLEY: Charlie?

MICHAEL: No, man. Look, you're still too shook up. I might be able to squeeze through. . .

CHARLIE: Hey, who's going to take care of your son if something happens. [he points to Sun] She's got a husband, [to Boone] he's got a sister. I'm alone here, no one on the Island. Let me do this.

CAPTION: It's a good thing Charlie didn't say on a previous episode that he "doesn't spelunk", or the writers might have written themselves into a corner in terms of Charlie being the person who is capable of saving the day.

[We see Sawyer sitting on the ground. Kate is standing with the bottle rocket, looking at her watch.]

SAWYER: Still ain't five, just like the last time you checked your watch.

KATE: I just don't want to miss Sayid's signal. Remember, I'll fire the flare, you set off the antenna.

SAWYER: I just thank the good lord I've got you here to keep reminding me.

KATE: It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it.

CAPTION: The prospect that this might be a dirty job was precisely why Sawyer came along.

SAWYER: So what is it about that guy -- Jack. [Kate sits down by Sawyer] What it is about him makes you all weak in the loins?

KATE: Do you try to be a pig, or does it just come naturally?

CAPTION: This is the standard romance novel "I hate him now so you all know I'll love him later" plot device. She calls him a pig now, but later, guess who will be discussing whether or not they should have some piglets together?

SAWYER: So, he's a doctor, right? Yeah, the ladies dig the doctors. Hell, give me a couple of band aids, a bottle of peroxide, I could run this island too.

CAPTION: Give Kate the bottle of peroxide and she could totally run your island, Sawyer.

KATE: You're actually comparing yourself to Jack?

SAWYER: [looking hurt] The difference between us ain't that big, sweetheart. I guarantee you, if he had survived a few more weeks on this island you'd have figured that out.

KATE: What did you just say?

SAWYER: Ah, damn. Didn't I tell you? Word from the valley is Saint Jack got himself buried in a cave-in.

KATE: What?

SAWYER: Look at the bright side, now you have someone else to pity.

[Shot of Kate tossing the bottle rocket at Sawyer's feet and running off.]

CAPTION: "Gosh, that line was less effective than I thought it would be at getting Kate into the sack."

[Shot of Charlie, Hurley, Michael back at the caves.]

MICHAEL: Listen, man, go slow. Try not to nudge any of the rocks around you.

CHARLIE: Anything else?

MICHAEL: Yeah, good luck.

BOONE: [handing Charlie water] Be safe man.

HURLEY: Good luck, Charlie.

CHARLIE: Alright, thanks guys.

[Shot of Charlie looking into the opening, then looking back at everyone. He starts into the tunnel.]

CAPTION: We all know what happens next. Charlie sees Darth Vader, and pulls out his light sabre. There is a big battle, but Charlie wins. But horror of horrors - as Charlie looks down into the helmet of his vanquished opponent...he sees...his own face!


[Shot of Charlie after a gig. He goes into the green room. Liam is there with a girl on either side.]

CHARLIE: Bloody hell.

LIAM: Hey, baby brother, grab a bird and sit down.

CHARLIE: [to a girl standing at the buffet table] Get out. [to another girl] You too, get out. Out, come on, now.

CAPTION: There now. With those girls gone, Charlie can finally follow his brother's advice and grab a bird. Amazing how they can afford to give the band rotisserie chickens at a fully-stocked buffet table like this.

CHARLIE: [to Liam] Sound check, you missed sound check, you don't show up for rehearsal. We've got a show in an hour.

LIAM: [clearly high] Oooh, shows. I like shows.

[Liam gets his drugs. Charlie looks on worriedly.]

CAPTION: "Less for me."

CHARLIE: Alright, that's it. After tonight, we cancel the rest of the tour.

LIAM: What?

CHARLIE: We walk away.

LIAM: Are you off your head?

CHARLIE: We're walking away like we said we would if things got. . .

LIAM: Walk away and go where?

CHARLIE: Liam, you're killing yourself with this junk, you're destroying Drive Shaft.

CAPTION: Yeah. Like that's tough to do.

LIAM: [yelling] I am Drive Shaft! Nobody even knows who the sodding bass player is. This is it, Charlie -- end of the rainbow. You really think you can walk away? Then what, eh? Face it, if you're not in this band, what the bloody hell use are you?

CAPTION: "Well, I'm shrimpy enough to save people trapped in a cave. That's pretty much it, but that's at least one use."

[Liam staggers out.]

CHARLIE: Liam?

LIAM: Piss off.

[Charlie, devastated, alone. He goes and does the drugs Liam left behind. Crying.]

[Shot of Charlie squeezing through the tunnel. It's starts rumbling and bits of dirt start falling. Shot of Michael and Hurley looking in from the entrance.]

MICHAEL: Charlie? Charlie move! Charlie?

[Shot of Charlie crawling as fast as he can to the opening cave-side. He finds Jack there.]

CHARLIE: Hi. I'm ‚ I'm here to rescue you.

[Jack smiles at him. Charlie smiles back.]

CAPTION: Jack is thinking "Oh, great...I'll never live this down. People will be all like 'Hey, I hear Charlie saved you, Mr. Big Deal Hero.'"

Act 5

[Shot of Hurley, Michael, Boone at the caves. Shot of Kate entering.]

BOONE: We can't just leave them.

HURLEY: They're going to run out of air.

MICHAEL: Stop talking I'm trying to think.

KATE: Where is he? Where is he?

MICHAEL: Kate.

KATE: Where is he? Where's Jack?

[Shot of everyone looking helpless, and they don't want to tell her.]

HURLEY: [nodding toward the now rubble-filled tunnel entrance] He's in there.

KATE: Does anyone know if he's alive? Is he alive?

MICHAEL: We don't know. Charlie went in there through a tunnel that we dug, but it collapsed.

KATE: Why is nobody digging? [she starts digging, the Others follow].

CAPTION: Ahhhh...it's the Others! Run away! Run away! Oh...it's just the transcript person has the Caps Lock button on again. Sorry about that. Continue.

[Shot of Jack and Charlie in the cave. Charlie is trying to get some leverage on the rock pinning Jack.]

CHARLIE: Okay, one, two, three. [He moves the rock, Jack yells out in pain, and holds his shoulder]. Sorry, Jack. Sorry. You alright?

JACK: My shoulder's dislocated.

CHARLIE: [looking terrified] What?

JACK: You're going to have to pop it back in.

CHARLIE: No, I can't.

JACK: I need your help in this.

CHARLIE: I can't do it, Jack.

JACK: Yes you can. Yes you can.

CHARLIE: Okay, what do I -- what do I do?

JACK: Take my hand. . .

CHARLIE: It's this hand. Okay, wait, wait [Charlie positions himself].

JACK: Now, when I tell you to, pull as hard as you possibly can.

CHARLIE: Jack, I don't know, I don't, I don't. . .

JACK: You can do this, Charlie.

CHARLIE: Okay, okay, okay, okay.

JACK: Now.

[Charlie pulls his arm. Jack yells out, grabs his shoulder.]

CAPTION: Now that Charlie has done this, and Kate has sewed up a wound, we may very well end up at the end of things with all the survivors together adding up to one complete doctor.


[Shot of a wind chime on a porch. We see Charlie walking up to the door of nice house, and the door opens.]

LIAM: [off camera] Charlie? What are you doing here?

CHARLIE: A bloke can't pay his big brother a visit once in a while?

LIAM: Of course you can. Why didn't you call, you lunatic. [They hug].

CAPTION: "So, no hard feelings about me calling you bloody useless?"

LIAM: What are you doing in Sydney?

[We see Charlie and Liam in the yard. Liam is pushing his young daughter on a swing.]

CHARLIE: It's all lined up, Liam. 8 weeks on tour opening for some band called Meat Coat. Next gig's in Los Angeles. LA, Liam. This is a chance to get back on a label, a real one.

[Liam sets is daughter in a sandbox. Liam and Charlie sit down at a table.]

CHARLIE: This is our chance at a comeback.

LIAM: Charlie, I don't want to come back.

CAPTION: Hey, that's weird. It was Charlie who wanted out of the band before, and Liam who was caught up in all the temptations of stardom. Isn't it ironic? Dontcha think?

CHARLIE: Yeah, right. Well, here's the thing. They won't book Drive Shaft without you. So I'm asking as a brother, the way you asked me.

LIAM: You were with me the night I missed Megan's birth. You were the one I was stumbling around Dresden with trying to find a sodding fix. Oh man, you're still using aren't you?

CAPTION: In their defense, Dresden is kind of tough to take sober.

CHARLIE: Don't change the subject.

LIAM: That's why you haven't been returning my calls.

CHARLIE: Look, are you going to go on tour with us or not?

CAPTION: "Not unless your publicist stops calling it the 'Trainspotting' tour."

LIAM: You said you were going to get some help, man.

CHARLIE: I lost your number.

LIAM: You're still a junkie.

CHARLIE: You did this to me. It was about the music. The music, Liam. You took that away from me.

CAPTION: "And my background vocals sound like crap without the music. I mean, like a beached whale. Trust me, you do not want to go there."

LIAM: Listen, why don't you stay with us for a few weeks. Karen and me, we can get you help. Sydney's got some really good programs. [Charlie gets up and walks away] Don't go.

CHARLIE: Thanks for your help brother.

LIAM: Stay, please. I'm just looking out for you.

CHARLIE: You never looked out for me. I have a plane to catch.

CAPTION: Oddly, Charlie chooses not to stay with his brother, and yet, through his choice, he does manage to find a place to crash.

[Slow motion of Charlie walking away.]

[Shot of Charlie in the cave. His hand is shaking.]

JACK: How long has it been, Charlie?

CHARLIE: I don't know what you're going on about.

JACK: How long since your last fix?

CAPTION: You tell Locke, you might as well be telling Wolf Blitzer.

CHARLIE: Almost a day and a half.

JACK: How's the withdrawal treating you? Any hallucinations?

CHARLIE: Apart from the conversation I had with you about an hour ago in the jungle, no not really.

CAPTION: "Conversation? Jungle? Huh?"

JACK: Why didn't you say anything? I could've helped you through this.

CHARLIE: Yeah, you think I'm useless, and a junkie to boot.

JACK: Useless? You're not useless. That took a lot of guts getting in here and trying to rescue me.

CAPTION: Come now, Jack. If guts were the only thing required not to be useless, that'd solve Boone's problem.

JACK: I won't forget that.

CHARLIE: [ironically] For the rest of our lives?

CAPTION: Or for the next thirty seconds. Whichever is longer.

JACK: At the rate we're using our oxygen in here, it won't be too long.

CHARLIE: This place, it reminds me of confession, those little claustrophobic booths.

JACK: I wouldn't have taken you for a religious man.

CHARLIE: I used to be.

CAPTION: "You know, before all the toking and the whoring."

CHARLIE: Hey, you want to hear my confession? Might take a while.

JACK: Hey, I'm no saint, either.

CAPTION: Not according to Sawyer, he's already got you canonized.

JACK: [Charlie sees something] What's wrong?

CHARLIE: It's a moth.

JACK: A what?

CHARLIE: Right behind you, look. There's a bloody moth in here. Look. [Charlie starts to follow it].

CAPTION: Okay, so stay with us for the symbolism here. Moths are attracted to flames because they're attracted to the light. This is potentially bad for the moths, as flames will kill them. Kind of like drugs. Got it? But moths are also attracted to daylight because it's light. This is good for a moth trapped in a cave because it will be able to find the way out. Kind of like Charlie right now in the cave. But also like Charlie kicking his drug habit. Got it? All of this, by the way, will be in our forthcoming Lost Cliff Notes.

JACK: Charlie, what are you doing?

[Charlie is feeling around in the cave.]

[Shot of people on the outside pulling rubble away.]

MICHAEL: Hey Kate, you need to take a break.

KATE: I'm fine.

MICHAEL: We've got enough people to dig. You keep going at this pace your going to kill yourself.

CAPTION: Yes, listen to Michael. He's the one who knew all about the load-bearing wall of the cave...er...so he was able to prevent a cave-in...um...never mind.

[Back in the cave.]

CHARLIE: There's light.

JACK: What?

CHARLIE: I see light.

[Outside they are digging. Inside Charlie is crawling. Shot of ground outside. Then Charlie's hand comes up through the ground. Shot of people outside digging. Shot of Walt. Vincent barks.]

WALT: Hey, it's the doctor.

[Jack and Charlie enter. Kate gives Jack a huge hug.]

CAPTION: (*KA-RUNCH*)

JACK: Ow, easy, my shoulder, careful.

HURLEY: How'd you get out?

JACK: Charlie, Charlie found a way out.

HURLEY: Dude, you rock.

[Congratulations all around. Shot of Charlie looking proud/happy.]

[Shot of Sayid as he looks at his watch. He says a quick prayer and lights the bottle rocket. ]

SAYID: [to himself] Alright everyone, now it's your turn.

[Shot of Shannon laying on beach talking to a female redshirt.]

SHANNON: We're in Malibu part of the year, but the guys there are such idiots.

CAPTION: Totally. I mean, ohmiGAWD!

[We can hear the sound of the rocket exploding. The redshirt points to the sky].

SHANNON: [hurrying] Dammit! Dammit, dammit, dammit. [She lights the rocket].

CAPTION: Good job, Shannon. Thanks for staying right on that.

SAYID: [seeing the beach rocket explode] Come on, come on, one more. Come on Kate. Come on.

[We see the third rocket go off.]

SAYID: Yes. Yes. [He gets the transceiver out of his pack and turns it on. The little screen says, acquiring signal.] Where are you? [The little screen says Receiving Signal] Yes!!! [The little screen shows a strong signal] Where are you? Where are you?

[We see movement behind Sayid. We hear some noise. Then Sayid gets whacked on the head with a big stick and falls to the ground unconscious.]

CAPTION: Now you see, if Sayid had invented a doohickey to tell him of approaching people with big sticks, then that'd be something.

Act 6

[Shot of Hurley getting some water from the spring. He gives water to Charlie and Jack.]

HURLEY: [to Charlie] Dude, you feeling okay? You look a little. . .

JACK: Flu. He's got the flu.

CAPTION: The "blue 'cause without my drugs what will I do" flu.

HURLEY: Oh man, that's rough after all you've been through. Take it easy man.

[Shot of Charlie looking gratefully at Jack.]

[Shot of Locke waiving a palm frond over the boar which is cooking on a spit. We see Charlie watching him.]

CHARLIE: I think I'm going to stretch my legs.

CAPTION: But that will render you less shrimpy. Today's moral of the story is that you're not useless because, at least, you're a little shrimpy dude. Haven't you learned anything?

[Shot of Walt and Michael]

WALT: This place is cool. Can we live here?

[Michael looks over at Sun. She returns his gaze.]

[Shot of Jack looking at the fire. Then we see a rag being put over his head. Kate has brought him a sling.]

KATE: Made you something.

JACK: Awww. My first sling.

CAPTION: First? What will Jack need the other slings for? (Actually, please don't answer that.)

KATE: How's that?

JACK: Good. Thank you.

KATE: So these are the safe caves you've been going on about.

JACK: This was a fluke. Michael checked out the integrity of the rest of the caves and gave them an okay. So you're heading back to the beach, huh?

CAPTION: You should ask for Michael's references. If he worked for the city, you might not want to trust his code inspections.

KATE: Sayid should be back there by now and if his plan worked then. . .

JACK: Then we're one step closer to getting off this island.

[Kate looks down (thinking about getting off the Island).]

JACK: Thanks for the sling, Kate.

KATE: You're welcome.

[Locke brushing the boar. Charlie walks up.]

CHARLIE: Give them to me.

LOCKE: This is the third time. Are you sure you really want them?

CHARLIE: I've made my choice.

[Locke hands the drugs to Charlie. Charlie looks at them and throws them in the fire. Locke smiles.]

LOCKE: I'm proud of you, Charlie. Always knew you could do it.

[Charlie looks up and sees a moth.]

CAPTION: A little known fact - heroin lights up real nice in a campfire. The gentle aroma of hard street drugs fills the air for days afterwards. Charlie may be useless, but he's no fool. And with that thought, we leave you until next week.

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