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Le Fem Lysergic Chap. One "The Girl with the Purple Hair"

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Prologue: It has been over twenty years since the Lost adventure has ended.


Outskirts: City of New Angels-- 3:16 A.M.

The lights of the City painted the night sky a deep shade of television gray, as a blood moon slowly rose over the horizon. On the outskirts were the bridges that connected the inner and outer sectors. It is early morning and only the high tech low lifes are still out and about.

In the middle of Rutherford Street bridge, walked three. More low life than high tech, they wandered the night like human hyenas, laughter masking their violent nature. They sang, as they walked, some kid’s show song of a bygone era.

“Whose The Leader Of The Club That’s Made For You And Me?! M...I...C...K...E...Y......M...O...U...S...E..!!!!!”*

Skull scanned the surroundings with his night vision eye. A combination of Korean circuitry and old German optics, it was inserted where his right eye would normally be, had he not cut it out himself as part of a gang initiation years ago.

His left eye, covered by a silver patch, was a result of loosing it in a knife fight over some Joy Girl, who was now long gone and easily forgotten. His red spiked hair, decorated with a dozen plastic mini-skull ornaments, announced his status as this punk trio’s leader. As Skull continued to scan, the trio continued to sing.

“Hey There! Hi There! Ho There!!!! You’re As Welcome As Can Be!! M...I...C...K...E...Y......M...O...U...S...E..!!!!!”

“Grasp anything, Skull?” Skunk asked. Skunk had a black and white dyed Mohawk, that trailed down his back, almost touching the ground.

“Nein! Nyet! No!” Skull replied, as he scanned the deserted streets, his artificial eye zooming in and out, searching for any slight movement amongst the trash and debris that lined the bridgeway.

“Well, I’m crusin for a brusin!” Razor, the third member, yelled out. Wearing a scanner cap, he monitored the police frequencies should the occasional cruiser mistakenly come out this far. His finger nails had been replaced with ten surgically inserted razor blades, just for the hell of it.

Suddenly, Skull detected something.

“I spy with my little eye,” he announced loudly, “a bag that may hold a big surprise!”

Skull pointed to a sleeping bag that hung upside down under the rafters of a another bridge just above.

“Hey, up there!!!” Skunk called out, “anybody home?! Come on out, we just want to play!!!”

Silence.

Skull and Razor immediately climbed the embankment, jumped up on the secondary bridge, and approached the overhanging bag with caution. Skunk kept look out below.

Razor recited an old nursery rhyme, as he took a swipe with his bladed hand that neatly sliced the bag in two.

“Little Miss Muffet...Sat On A Tuffet...Eating Of Curds And Whey...There Came A Great Spider...Who Sat Down Beside Her...And Frightened Miss Muffet Away!”*

Out of the split bag tumbled articles of clothing.

Skunk checked it out below.

“Girly clothes!!” he shouted back.

“A Fem near by?” Razor asked.

“Maybe!” Skull answered.

Suddenly, from directly behind, they heard someone eerily singing another song.

“I’m A Little Tea Pot… Short And Stout!!! Here Is My Handle…..Here Is My Spout!!!”*

Skull and Razor immediately spun around to see a pretty girl with long purple hair. She was dressed in a white, lace flowing skirt, a brown leather vest-like corset, and black leather knee high boots. On top of her head was a black stove pipe hat with aviation style goggles wrapped around its brim. She was holding two guns.

“Hey, Purple Haze!” Razor stingingly asked, “what’s your name?!”

“Lysergic!” she replied, smiling a slightly psychotic smile, that sent a chill down Skull’s spine. He quickly zoomed in with his eye, focusing on the weapons she held in her hands.

“Well, Le Fem Lysergic, my name is Skull and I’ll be your host for this evening’s festivities,” he evilly grinned, “but first, are you going to be a good girl and not threaten us with any of your toys?!”

Skull had chuckled to himself, when his electronic eye revealed the girl was holding a BB pistol and a squirt gun.

“Yeah,” Razor replied, as he slowly approached her, “come play with us big boys, cause we’re gonna show you we’ve got big toys!!!”

Skull and Razor both expected the girl with the purple hair to try and make a run for it. They had hoped she would try to escape, so they could chase, then overtake her. The fact that this potential prey was young, pretty, and female, made it ever the more exciting! However, to their surprise, the girl remained still and just finished singing her song.

“When I Get All Steamed Up Hear Me Shout!!! …Tip Me Over And Pour Me Out!!!”

Suddenly, Lysergic Oldham took aim with the squirt gun in her left hand and pulled the trigger, spraying a stream of Hydrochloric acid directly into Razor’s face!

Razor screamed out in pain and, as he instinctively reached up to protect his face, he inadvertently slit his own throat with his bladed nails! He gasped for air, as the acid began to melt his face and the blood began to flow out of the self-severed artery in his neck.

“WHAT THE F***!!” Skull cried out, as he pulled out a steel baton, but before he could use it, Lysergic aimed the .177 caliber BB pistol in her right hand and fired. At that close of range, traveling at 480 feet per second, the pellet easily shattered Skull’s electronic eye!

“YOU BITCH!!! YOU F***ING BLINDED ME!!!” Skull screamed.

Skunk came running up the embankment and quickly stopped, as he saw Skull in a blind rage and Razor lying in a pool of his own blood!

Lysergic turned and smiled at Skunk.

“You want to play, too?” she asked.

Skunk immediately turned and tore ass out of there!

Lysergic realized she had better get out of there as well. She figured these punks had friends that were soon going to be back to seek revenge, once their Skunky buddy reported what had just happened.

She picked up Skull’s steel baton, ran over to a pile of old wet cardboard and tossed the stacks aside, to reveal a purple Vespa scooter buried underneath.

Lysergic placed all the “toys” into her skirt pockets and quickly hopped onto her scooter and zigzagged around the blindly wandering Skull and the now dead Razor.

As she putted away across the bridge, headed towards a section of the City known as Slab Ville, Lysergic continued to sing that old nursery rhyme.

“I’m A Clever Teapot...Yes Its True!!! This Is An Example Of What I Can Do!!!”

Next: Chap. Two “Pretty in Purple”

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