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Le Fem Lysergic: Chap. Twelve "Still Not Cool"

Theory of everything February 3, 2012

“Okay, so now that I’m your Snitch girl,” Lysergic Oldham stated, “I’ll ask you again. Why me?!”

Z smiled, “That massacre at the warehouse and your subsequent arrest, got our attention. Then, as I explained, we did a little background check and we came to the conclusion that you have great potential. In addition, as I mentioned, you have some knowledge of the type of group that we strongly believe obtained what we want returned!”

“The book?” Lysergic asked.

“Yes, the book!” Z replied.

Lysergic frowned, “Okay, so what’s next?!”

“First you go to school!” Mr. Z answered.

“School!!!” Lysergic replied with surprise, “I was never very good in school!”

“You’ll enjoy this school,” Z said.

“Will there be any math?” Lysergic wondered, “I don’t like math!”

“You’ll be taught how to use special weapons,” Z began, “assassination techniques, martial arts, and we’re going to change your image!”

“Change my “image”?” Lysergic laughed, “how?”

“You’ll see,” Z smiled.

“Will I get to use any drugs?!” Lysergic excitedly asked.

Z frowned, “If you mean to ingest any drugs, no! But yes, drugs are a potential tool that could be useful, if need be!”

“Cool,” Lysergic smiled, “if you give me the proper supplies, I can whip up all kinds of concoctions to use on anyone to get anything.”

“Yes,” Z replied, “I am aware of your pharmaceutical talents!”

“So, when do we begin?” Lysergic asked.

“Today!” Mr. Z replied, “we don’t have much time. We’ve got to get you up to speed before you hit the streets!”

“How long is my training?” Lysergic asked.

“You need to be in position, out on the street, in no more than twenty-three hours!” Z answered.

“Twenty-three!!” Lysergic replied, “why not twenty-four?”

“You’ll have one hour for lunch!” Z replied.

“Is the training here?” Lysergic excitedly asked.

“Someplace else,” Z answered, “ but I can’t tell you where and you don’t need to know!”

“If I don’t need to know,” Lysergic suspiciously asked, “then how do you get me there without me knowing? Throw a bag over my head?!”

Mr. Z chuckled, “No bag is necessary, Ms. Oldham. We’ll just use our standard way of transport, one you’re now familiar with!”

Mr. Z then pulled a tranquilizer gun from a shoulder holster under his jacket and fired a dart into Lysergic’s neck!

“STILL NOT COOL!!” Lysergic cried out, as she drifted once more into sleep.

Next: Chap. Thirteen “Poor Little Punk Princess”

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