Lysergic Oldham woke up on the floor of what appeared to be some type of gymnasium. She had not only an aching head but a sore shoulder. She was so tired, she just wanted to remain on the floor and go back to sleep.

“WAKE UP LITTLE GIRL!!!” Lysergic heard someone screech in her ear!

“I’m not a little girl,” Lysergic sleepily mumbled.

“WAKE UP!!!!” Lysergic heard again, this time accompanied by a slap across her face! She immediately re-awoke to see a tall, husky woman, with short cut platinum blonde hair wearing a red jogging suit. The woman towered over her with an intense look that told Lysergic this woman lived for anger.

“Where am I?! Who are you?! What do you want?!” Lysergic wearily asked, as she stood up. She glanced about to see a half dozen men and woman, all dressed in white robes, sitting around in a semi-circle on a layout of workout mats.

“You ask many questions,” the husky woman replied, in a thick accent Lysergic couldn’t identify, “but I answer. You in training room! My name Korsakov Cryptousky! I teach you Martial Arts!”

Lysergic looked puzzled.

“So, hope I have answered many questions to your satisfaction!“ Cryptousky said, as she motioned towards the group in the semi-circle, “Now….GET OVER THERE!!!”

“Martial Arts, huh?” Lysergic replied, “I seen that on those Kung Fu movies on TV. It reminds me of ballet!”

“Oh, does it now?!” Cryptousky amusingly replied, “You like ballet? Then I’ll call you ‘Tiny Dancer’!”

Cryptousky then grabbed Lysergic’s neck, lifted her off the floor, and tossed her across the room! Lysergic landed with a thump against the far wall! Slightly stunned, she managed to quickly get back up.

“So, Tiny Dancer, was that like ballet?” Cryptousky laughed. The rest of the class laughed along.

Lysergic sneered, “If you tried any of that out on the street, you’d be dead! Among other things!”

“OOOOOOOOH!!!” the class awed.

Korsakov Cryptousky sneered back, “Out on street, eh?! So you tough little street punk, huh?! Come over here, show me how street smart you are!”

“And your point would be?!” Lysergic sarcastically replied.

“Point would be to kick your little punk ass out of world!!!” Cryptousky crookedly smiled.

Lysergic just shrugged, “I wouldn’t want to embarrass you in front of your friends!”

“OOOOOOHHH!!!!” the class awed again.

“No embarrassment at all!!!” Cryptousky laughed, as she immediately charged.

Lysergic quickly stepped aside and tried to use Cryptousky’s momentum, Aikido-like, to steer her into the wall.

However, Cryptousky reached out and grabbed Lysergic and swung her around, sending Lysergic back into the wall!

“OWWWW!!!” Lysergic moaned, as she now rolled around on the floor in pain.

“Oh, did poor little Punk Princess get hurt?!” Cryptousky laughed, as she turned her back on Lysergic to face the class, “this is example of street stupidity!”

Suddenly, Lysergic leaped to her feet and charged Cryptousky from behind! Lysergic jumped on top of her back, then bit Cryptousky’s right ear clean off!

Cryptousky screamed out in pain, blood gushing where her ear had been. She tried to knock her off, but Lysergic held on tightly with Cryptousky’s bloody ear still in her mouth!

“GET BITCH OFF ME!!!!” Cryptousky yelled, as a couple of students eventually managed to pry Lysergic off Cryptousky’s back.

“GET ME TO MEDIC!!!” Cryptousky commanded, as two other students guided her out the door.

“Don’t forget your ear!!!” Lysergic called out, after spitting it out onto the floor.

One student quickly recovered the ear, then followed the rest, as they all hurried out the door behind their wounded instructor. Lysergic walked over to a mat and sat down. She smiled, as she sang to herself.


Meanwhile, the whole incident had been observed from a hidden room overlooking the training gym. The smaller, gray haired man had just entered the room, joining Mr. Z.

“What just happened?” Smaller asked.

“KC just had her ear bitten off!” Z replied.

Smaller frowned, “I think we should cut our losses with this Lysergic. She’s nothing but trouble. What say I just take her out back and put a bullet through her brain?!”

“Not yet!” Z answered.

“If she doesn’t get with the program soon,” Smaller noted, “you know corporate is going to tell you to do the same thing!”

Z could only nod.

Next: Chap. Fourteen “No Thing Ness”

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