why was the flashsideways like reality?

i dont know why they made it like reality? why did the guys that died have to live out their lvies in the flashsideways to find each other and why isnt there a now in the flashsideways when its like a reality. we see locke and her wife living out their lives like they did in the past and everybody has seem to forgotten their liveso n the island. im just curious to how sayid took 2 days to find jin while jin experienced 1 day because both are lviing their lives like they used too and they can clearly see so why they gotta live out their lives, why dont they move on? also who will take desmoinds place? i bet it's ben! i had theorys about this place but none can make sense nor can i make them make any sense because the flashsideways is confucing!

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