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I have read a lot of time travel theories etc and this is my interpetation of it all.
I think that the reason desmond didnt remember daniel knocking on his door when they were on the island is that for Daniel it hadnt happened yet even though it will happen in Desmonds Past, For widmore in his past we see he meets locke on the island but he dosnt remeber untill locke acctually does it in his PRESENT.
So bassicly when peoples PRESENTS come into contact with other peoples PAST, the actions in the peoples PRESENT that occur trigger peoples memory of their own PAST. Sorry this is a bit vague, its really hard to explain, i get it in my head just dont know how to write it down for all you out there lol Hope someone understands sort off, let me know what you think Namaste!