815, prior to not-crashing
In the alternate timeline, we go on a nostalgia trip. Who cares about everything else? This is letting us see dead characters again, without having to deal with pesky issues like them having no reason to appear. And Desmond's on the plane! And Taweret's under the ocean! And the events on the plane aren't exactly right! And look, Jack saved one of those dead characters! Isn't this exciting?
...no. No it isn't. I'm sure it'll have some importance down the line. But you know what? If something is only important later on, introduce it later on when it's relevant instead of wasting our time on it now. The flash-sideways were painful to watch, and raise the question: "Why?"
Remember this, Jack?
At the Swan site, everyone wakes up! Sawyer blames Jack for killing Juliet. I'm going to assume we're meant to sympathize with Jack. But you know what? He's right. Her death is entirely down to Jack. As are the deaths of Faraday, Phil, all the other DHARMA people and nearly Sayid. Juliet's death scene is decent, Even if nobody but Sawyer cares-even Miles who spent years with her or Jack, who...well.
But at least her death opens up more options for the love triangle! Man, who doesn't love Jack and Kate. They're usually among the characters least relevant to the plot and are accorded least development of anyone, and yet they and their romances are allowed to take over so much screen-time.
Of course, you have to wonder why Juliet dies and Sayid is saved, thanks to the big bad of Lost, Jacob.
Jacob watches as he claims another victim
Jacob is a hypocrite. He's all for free will, but he allows none. He caused so much death and misery in the character's lives, it's impossible to sympathize with him. He set the stage for Kate's life of crime, he encourages Sawyer to waste his life getting vengeance, he causes Nadia's death (which inspires Sayid to become a assassin), he convinces Hurley that he should return to the Island, and he appears to revive Locke from death. While the last one seems benevolent, it really isn't; afterward, Locke lead a life of fury and delusion, and was eventually taken over by Jacob's nemesis. And sure, Jacob's nemesis is a killer, but he never claims to be anything but, while Jacob claims to be
This wouldn't annoy me if it was positioned as an example of Lost's gray morality. But it isn't. Jacob is portrayed as unambigiously good, and his nemesis as unambigiously bad. See, Jacob is wearing white and heals people! Jacob's nemesis is black and looks Satanic!
Anyway, Sayid is brought to the Temple. The Temple is a generically mystical locale that's home to generic characters like Dogen. Sayid is drowned, and then he comes back! I wonder if he's Jacob. Hm.
An awesome scene. Also a short scene.
On the beach, we actually get a good plot. The characters here are allowed to be...well, characters, not paper-thin plot devices. We learn who the Smoke Monster is and get some fantastic acting by Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson. And this plot manages to develop more interest and tension than the main one, despite being only four scenes long. Pathetic.
LA X is dull, it's frustrating, and ultimately half of it's filler. Pointless, stupid filler. The worst premiere and one of the worst episodes of the entire series. I can't even bother enough to theorize. Just...ugh.