3x01 JulietPlaysItNice
The sandwich is here.
  • Gather ingredients
  • Point gun at ingredients and shout "HOW DO I MAKE A SANDWICH OUT OF YOU?!?!?"
  • Breathe heavily through your nose as though you were about to hit ingredients
  • Give up and make the sandwich yourself, and eat it bitterly.


  • Make separate sandwiches, one with peanut butter and one with jelly
  • Take a bite of the peanut butter sandwich, declaring it the best
  • Take a bite of the jelly sandwich, declaring it the best
  • Repeat steps 2 and 3 ad infinitum
  • Follow peanut butter or jelly sandwich into grave danger


  • Throw the jar of jelly at wall, sneering "I don't need no sandwich"
  • Call the mascot on the jar of peanut butter lots of clever nicknames
  • Huff and puff and stomp around and grumble a lot
  • When no one's looking, make perfect, even, symmetrical peanut butter and jelly sandwich and sit in a corner, enjoying every bite.


  • Sit idly by, believing that the ingredients will find a way to make a sandwich out of themselves
  • Lose faith and make the sandwich anyway
  • Realize that you were the instrument by which the ingredients chose to make a sandwich after all
  • Run around the room and grab everyone's knives, insisting that their sandwiches will do the same in time


  • Make sandwich
  • Eat sandwich
  • Repeat steps 1 and 2 ad infinitum


  • Procure 23 milligrams of uranium-20
  • Set hadron supercollider to eight megajoules
  • Program a sandwich-making macro using Cobol or Visual Basic
  • Act all tough-like


  • Call the sandwich "brother"
  • Place peanut butter slice over jelly slice
  • Spread jelly on the other slice
  • Spread peanut butter on one slice
  • Take two slices of bread, a jar of peanut butter and a jar of jelly
  • Before eat the sandwich say: "see ya in another life, brotha"


  • Steal someone else's sandwich
  • Claim you coerced them into making the sandwich for you all along
  • Say you'll tell them everything if they make you another sandwich
  • Stare at them all creepy-like


  • Lay out plans for one of the most intricate, fascinating, and delicious sandwiches of all time
  • Just as you start making it, get shot


  • Apply peanut butter
  • Disappear for eight months
  • Apply jelly
  • Disappear for eight months
  • Eat sandwich


  • Mmmmmmm, peanut butter.

And do you have ideas for another characters? :D