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815Tailie's Journal -- Day 34: October 25, 2004

Celebok October 27, 2010 User blog:Celebok

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4:42 p.m.

I had yet another session with Harper today. It was pretty intense. Last week, Harper had told me that I needed to work on resolving my issues regarding my breakup with Vicki which happened over two months ago now, because supposedly, not letting go of my bitter feelings about it could disrupt my life on the Island. Well, since I hadn't done the assignment that Harper gave me, she pretty much forced me to talk about my problems with Vicki for the entire one-hour session today. Harper was mainly concerned because I had mentioned in my very first session that all of my friends had sided with Vicki when she called off the wedding, so we explored why that might've been the case. Apparently, one of the main reasons I didn't want to talk about it was because I wanted to continue believing that the whole thing was Vicki's fault, when in fact, a part of me already knew what a stupid and selfish fool I had been during our relationship. Always being possessive with my own space, insisting things be done my way, blaming my own faults on Vicki not communicating things properly. Even though I always believed I was right whenever we argued and thought my arguments were completely valid, it's easy to see now why she got fed up and didn't want to be around me anymore. And it's this kind of baggage that Harper doesn't want me bringing into relationships on the Island. In fact, she said she's already received complaints from both of my roommates about similar rude, argumentative behavior that I've apparently shown in the last few weeks, which totally surprised me. I can see why Harper waited until the end of the session to tell me that, because I probably would've otherwise reverted back to my usual mode of justifying myself and blaming them. Our session ended on a positive note, though, as Harper pointed out that living on the Island is giving me a chance to start over and make changes and become a better person. And now I definitely feel motivated to do so.

One other thing I realized from today's session is my tendency to procrastinate. Not only did I not do the assignment that Harper had given me last week, but I also still haven't gotten around to reading my Island Resident Orientation Guide like I said I was going to over the weekend. Harper asked me what I thought about it, and I had to admit that I hadn't read it yet, and she told me that I really need to read it so that I can understand what it really means to be a part of the Island. I keep meaning to read it, but somehow I just keep getting distracted for one reason or another... mostly by working on my estimates for the various stages of the runway construction. Hopefully I'll find some time tonight.


7:04 p.m.

I just talked to Juliet and finally found out why I haven't seen Diane around here in the last week or so. It turns out that Diane is part of that team that Ben sent to spy on those Oceanic survivors after they killed Ethan. Juliet isn't exactly sure how they're spying, just that they were sent to observe the people's behavior, assess their threats, and check on the pregnant girl's condition. Diane is expected to return sometime tomorrow. Perhaps then I'll get to hear some interesting stories of what she's been up to on that part of the Island.


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