So me and my friend Scott sometimes (sometimes as in two times) walk to the beach in the wee hours of the night. Its about a 15-20 mile walk and takes 3 hours. We spend all night and dawn on or around the beach, there's all kinds of stuff there, then take a bus/train type thing home around 7:00 in the morning. Anyway, there's a giant power plant, and close to it are two chairs on a cliff overlooking the ocean. We were sitting there and there's a boat way out in the ocean. He's my one friend who watches Lost, so we're almost constantly talking about it. I look at him and say "you brought them here didn't you?" It was perfect because he was wearing white, I was wearing black, and the giant power plant tower would be the statue. So we have an inside joke about that little spot we call the "Jacob and Dick Chairs."
So we have this friend Travis. He's the most socially akward person you can imagine, and he has a lot of annoying personality traits, so we usually give him a hard time. We were walking around there tonight, Travis was with us and was asking about the Jacob and Dick Chairs. We knew it would bother him if we didn't tell him, so we had some fun with him. Here's the conversation as best as I can remember:
Travis: So I can finally see those chairs you guys talked about.
Travis: The Lost chairs.
Beardo: There's no chairs on Lost.
Travis: Yeah there is.
Beardo: There's A chair, but its in a cabin not on a beach.
Travis: Yeah, that one guy, whats his name? [He overhears us talking about the show all the time]
Scott & Beardo: ................
Travis: Name some characters from Lost.
Beardo: .......The Monster
Scott: The plane
Beardo: The island
Travis: No! Come on. Name people. Who's the fat guy?
Beardo: Brian? [Brian is our other friend, well mostly my friend]
Travis: No, on Lost
Scott: Oh, the monster.
Travis: No, the fat guy.
Beardo: The hatch
Travis: No! Name characters.
Beardo: There's lots of characters. The Others, Dharma, the monster
Scott: The castaways
Travis: Whats the fat guy's name?
Travis: On Lost!
Travis: Damn it! Name some characters!
Beardo: The Others, Dharma, there's lots of characters
Travis: Name people from Dharma
Beardo: Well I think the monster was made by Dharma
Scott: I dont know, I still think it predates Dharma. What about Ruesseu's people?
Beardo: Dharma was 70's, that was the 80's.
Travis: Stop! Whats the name of the fat guy?
Travis: There's a fat guy on the show named Brian?
Beardo: No, thats Hurley
Travis: Why didn't you say that a long time ago
Beardo: You didn't ask. Whatever you ask us we'll answer.
Travis: Name some characters then
Scott: The hatch
Beardo: The button
Scott: The numbers
Travis: Whats the name of the Asian couple?
Scott: What Asian couple?
Travis: I know there's Asian people on the show!
Beardo: Now your just being racist (Ironic because Travis is Asian)
Travis: The Asian couple!
Beardo: Jin and Sun
Travis: Ok, good. We're getting somewhere. Name every character thats name starts with "J"
Beardo: But wait, there's more Asians.
Travis: Name everyone who's name starts with "J"
Both:...............I dont think there are any
Beardo: Oh....well...there's Jack
Travis: Ok good there's a character. Any more?
Scott: Well, we already said Jack. If you know him you pretty much know everybody.
Beardo: Yeah, come one we already said Hurley. Isn't that enough?
Travis: What about Jake? Is there a character named Jake?
Beardo: Nope. No one named Jake.
Travis: What about JaCOB?
Travis: Well why didn't you mention him ealrier!?!?!
Scott: OH! I thought we're talking about seasons 1 and 2
Beardo: You gotta say which season man.
Travis [getting frustrated]: So then what about Jacob's chairs?
Beardo: He doesn't have chairs.
Travis: When I get home I'm gonna research this, I'm gonna look up Jacob's chairs.
Scott: Oh no, the power of the interntet!
Beardo: Go ahead. Look up "Jacob's chairs." [Secretly knowing that Jacob and Dick did not have chairs in the scene]
Travis: I will!
Scott: I thought he had a chair under th...in his....house.
Beardo: Oh yeah, he might have.
Scott: Rocking chair
Beardo: Think it was the same chair from the.... (Trying not to give anything away for some reason)
Scott: I dont know
Travis: F*$k Lost. I'm never watching it now beacuse of you two.
Beardo: F#*k Entourage.
Travis: F*%K YOU! Damn you guys and your inside jokes.
So we finally get to the chairs. Travis goes to find a 3rd one, of course me and Scott hide by some near by bushes and watch him looking around for us for a while. We go sit down in the chairs.
Scott: Could just fall asleep here. Wake up tomorrow afternoon. People everywhere.
Beardo: Wake up naked in the jungle
Scott: Next to Desmond
Beardo: [Desmond voice: Hey brotha] Desmond do you have an erection? [Desomond voice: Aye]
Well thats a perfect ending. Sorry to those of you who are probably pissed that its so long and I guess kind of a waste of a blog thing. I'm sure someone out there enjoyed it though. Kind of a look at how someone who doesn't watch the show percieves it. They always know about Hurley somehow. And how much fun you can have when there's one person there that doesn't watch it.