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Parody Alert! This article's subject matter is parodical and non-canon in nature (but distinct from hoax and serious fanon material) This material is generally fan-created, but occasionally from official or commercial sources. |
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Widmorelaboratories.com is a website that claims to be part of the Widmore family group of companies, but is not an official site. Though it is an imitation website, it can also be considered a parody page, rather than a scam page intended to fool readers into believing that it is authentic, as it has bizarre and silly images like "Hanso Jalapenos" and "DHARMA Beans".
Website sections[]
Home[]
DHARMA "Infinity" Logo
Quality, innovation and safety are the hallmarks of Widmore Laboratories. Over 50 years of manufacturing private label and generic products for the institutional and retail markets have vaulted Widmore to one of the largest companies in the world.
Our specialty pharmaceuticals have brought relief from disease and sickness to thousands of individuals. Our specialty test kits have been able to diagnose problems in the harshest of climates and in emerging fields of medicine.
See what Widmore can do for your company, retail store, or institution's special needs.
Proud supplier and business and research partner of www.valenzettifoundation.org
The following two paragraphs prove this website is not an official part of the ARG The Lost Experience:
ARG players please note: This is a fan site, and as most fan sites the information should be taken as theories and speculation.
It should be further noted that Losttv-forum which bills itself as an unofficial forum has a very anti-mazer attitude that emanates from the upper management down. If you wish to avoid flaming, disrespect and hatred you may wish to avoid that forum. Any who wish to speak against their divisive methods will be summarily banned from posting there.
The the right of that text, there are a few links.
ARG Web Sites
And at the bottom of this page, there is a disclaimer.
Caution: This is a real site. If this wasn't a real site you couldn't be here. This site is also officially unofficial, whatever that means. If you don't want your mind expanded beyond 27 diagonal inches, you should leave immediately.
Food[]
Widmore Laboratories produces a full line of grocery items. From salad dressings to frozen food you can be assured of quality, freshness and great taste. We package under our Infinity label, as well as supermarket and drug store private labels.
We have also developed specialty line of grocery products specifically designed for research facilities and remote locations. We have specially designed formulas for both Arctic temperatures and also formulas to withstand the heat and humidity of tropical locations. They have a long shelf life, even after opening, but stay nutritious and tasty.
Infinity Brand Enhanced Waters: The purist of water enhanced with vitamins and nutrients, and bottled naturally carbonated or uncarbonated. A variety of flavors in both glass and plastic sport bottles. Combines the best of rehydration and replenishment of important minerals your body loses during workouts or labor. Custom formulas for those institutions requiring alternate dosing methods for their clients.
Cerberus Gourmet Quality Coffee: Regular and decaffeinated blends in a variety of sizes. Private and institution labels are also available. Instant coffee, sugar, sugar substitutes, honey, non-dairy creamer, and stirrers are also available. Teas, hot cocoa, hot cocoa with mini Staypuff® marshmallows and instant soups compliment the "kitchenette" line of products perfect for home, office, research station or institutions. Travel kits have been designed for traveling researchers dependant on open fire cooking and in extreme conditions.
Experience the Dharma® Organic when you put your lips to this divine libation. Open your senses to the cup that connects you to coffee fields cultivated in sustainable, chemical-free fashion by small farmers in harmony with the local environment. Whether you like Tex-Mex or just a bit of spice our ethnic food selections are just what your customers and patrons want. In jars, cans, frozen and dehydrated we have just what you need to put some pizazz on your menu.
Medical Supplies[]
Widmore Laboratories announces the issuance of several U. S. patents on the new Opti-Grab. Utilizing revolutionary remote viewing and nano-electronics this device will soon be applied to surgical, diagnostic and surveillance products produced by Widmore laboratories. Watch for details coming soon.
Widmore Laboratories Eye Glass Frames: Not only do we offer designer styles, but we also have petite and plus sizes for unusual shaped heads. Our Thumblina line for children and petites, and our Tiki line for those with larger needs. Lens cleaners, repair kits, protective cases as well as attractive retail displays fill out the line.
Pharmaceuticals[]
This page has a stock photo of pills, and an image of "Sleep Aid" tablets; no text.
"Calms Forte Sleep Aid"
Personal Care[]
Widmore Pregnancy Tests: Available in both consumer and institutional packaging. Uses the latest technology with a false reading of less than .0001%. Our test does not fail in extreme climates as most of the major labels are known to do.
Widmore Immaculate Conception* Pregnancy Test: As reliable as our regular test, but with the added reading of the DNA markers 5, 8,15, 23, and 54 which are indicative of irregular paternity. Available in institutional packaging only.
Widmore Shampoos and Conditioners: Widmore manufactures a wide variety of hair products using our Widmore and Infinity labels. The quality is comparable to salon labels at supermarket prices. Special formulas are available for institutions with added dermal absorption pharmaceuticals, these can only be packaged under the institutions own private label and the usual permits are required.
Widmore Sun Protection Products: Whether it is the heat of the desert or the extremes of the South Pole we make a formula to fit your needs. A wide variety of SPF formulas, oil-free, water resistant, sport, or winter mix products. Can be packaged as private label or use our Infinity or Infinity Express labels. Consumer sizes or institutional quantities are available.
Baby Care Products: The winning combination of Dharma Diapers and Widmore Wipes leaves babies smiling and comfortable throughout their early growing stages. Dharma Diapers come in sizes Preemie to size 5 and then graduate to training pants. Dharma Dippers are swimming diapers especially made not to swell up in contact with water. Dharma Dippers also come with their own UV badge so you know when they've had enough sun exposure. Our UV badges are as reliable as our world renown radiation badges so you are assured of accuracy and protection. Widmore Wipes come in unscented, scented, and anti-bacterial. Travel packs, tubs and refills, and pop up canisters fit every need. Institutional packs are also available.
Contact Us[]
Contains a link to "Rotten Ralf"'s bookstore.
Genealogy-Family History Out-of-print vital records, parish registers, family histories - reprinted and reasonably priced. ____Rottenralf's Bookstore